Clean Slates

Thank goodness for an extra day so I can keep my New Years resolution by writing every month! February has been full of ups and downs. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced a month like this one.

If I’ve learned anything this past month it’s to always always be there. Now I know this sounds weird but it’s true. You have to be there. And what I mean by that is you can’t half ass be there. You have be in all or nothing.  I’ve also realized that you have to be in the moment. You can’t be worrying about what tomorrow will hold. You have be in the now.

Two years ago yesterday my world turned upside down. I don’t really have any great advice or wisdom to give on the anniversary of it and I wish I did. The only thing I really know for sure is it was Gods plan for me. For us. For our families. For our futures. For everything. And that’s a really hard concept to grasp. I know it’s so very true but it’s just so hard to remind yourself of everyday when your constantly thinking about it. Because of it I know I’m a better person. I know that I’m a lot stronger than I thought I was.

I think if he was here and we were together he would tell me to follow my heart. And so to honor him.. But mainly myself I did something on Sunday. I bought a horse. Now I know that doesn’t sound like a big deal but it kinda is.

This horse is a clean slate. He’s not broke yet so that means I get start him! Which is really exciting!

And I really need a clean slate..really really need one. I try to remind myself that each year when the anniversary comes around.

I’m trying. I’m searching. And I will find myself and my silver lining.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?”

Matthew 6: 25-30


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