I know I haven’t blogged lately, its been a little crazy to say the least. The past couple days have been rough. Events change things. People change things. People under stress don’t always think clearly, mean what they say, or use good judgement. While I’m sure that I struggle with all three, and much more, I know people that struggle more than I do.
Things are changing in my life. They are going to get worse, but I also know that eventually they are going to get better. Some of the things that I have had in the past, I will no longer have anymore. Thats not my fault. It’s not my Moms, my sisters, or my dog. Everything happens for a reason. It’s hard to not know whats going to happen in the days or weeks or months that lie ahead for myself, or my family, I also know that God wouldn’t bring you to it, if your couldn’t make it through.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
I don’t know whats going to happen. I know that questioning if things could have been different, or if we could have done things differently the outcome might be different. I don’t really think that thats going to help. Things all happen for a reason, but beating yourself up over something that you can’t change doesn’t help anyone.
“Lean not on your own understanding” It’s hard to do. You want to say you have all the control in your life, and the choices you make, and what you’re going to wear tomorrow, but the reality is that you don’t. God does. He knows every little detail of your life. When you stub your toe, spill the milk, or whatever it is, God already knows that. Its hard to remember than when life changing things are happening. God already knows what he has planned for you. I love a preacher named John Gray who preaches at Lakewoood Church in Texas. I listen to his sermons every night on my iPad while I wait for sleep to come to me. He, along with all the other pastors that I admire, has stated that “The greater the attack the greater the density.”
At first I thought that was bullshit, buts really not. I’ve had bad things happen to me before, happening now, and are going to happen in the future, but I believe in silver linings.
“This is what I believe to be true. You have to do everything you can. You have to work your hardest. And if you do, if you stay positive, then you have a shot at a silver lining.”
That’s a hard thing. But I’m learning that if you don’t believe that, or something like it, then you’re going to live your life running in circles. I think trying to stay positive and find the silver lining is much, much better than running in circles and staying in the same place for the rest of your life. I’d rather believe. At least if you believe, then you hold all the power.