On Monday my world flipped upside down. I had a great day to start with. I rode horses all day with some friends and the sunshine just had me in a good mood. That was until we got a phone call no one ever wants to receive.
They were trying to revive him. He’s not breathing they said. My heart stopped. He was dead before we got there.
My Poppaw and I weren’t always close. He was always at the Golf Shop when we went to visit. However the past few months when he got really sick I was by side his side almost every day. I’d go see him as much as I could. I brought my dog to come see him. I’d sneak him in a milkshake. Feed him soup and comb his hair. Listen to his stories and him complain about his nurses not getting him what he wanted in a timely fashion. Sometimes we’d just sit in silence. Every moment I got with him I cherished because I knew this day was coming. I just didn’t think I’d feel like this when it did.
He knew he was dying. He told my Dad he wanted to be buried in a navy blue suit and a yellow tie. He wrote a will and gave my Momma POA over him. Sold his golf shop. Tried to prepare us for what would eventually happen.
Yesterday I went to his house to get together his clothes. This man has A LOT of clothes. I mean a lot. Three closets full. We found the suit he wanted but I could not find the tie. I dug and dug through drawers and baskets with no luck. I was going to have to by him a tie. It was the last thing I could ever do for my Poppaw.
All day I kept asking Poppaw to send me a sign that he was ok. At first I asked him to help me find the tie. I felt so alone and God wasn’t talking to me. I just wanted something to know he was ok. I hadn’t “heard” anything and eventually tried to compromise with God saying I didn’t have to find to the tie I just wanted him to be ok. Just to tell me that. I got nothing. With no luck on the tie we settled on a blue and yellow striped one.
After a long day we made it home only to watch my Dad write his obituary at the kitchen table. I couldn’t take much more of it and I walked into the living room. The TV was on. A commercial. The local news showing a pre view of their stories coming up at a 11 and look at the weather. I was kinda zoned out, drained from the day. I just let the words the TV blared in one ear and out the other. I was however kinda watching.
The news anchor talked and then the camera shot across the studio to the weatherman. The weather man had on a yellow tie. I had held it together all day and I immediately burst into tears. That was my sign. I knew he had to be ok. Thank you Poppaw.
God works in mysterious ways. I did not write this for anyone to feel bad or sorry for us. I wrote this because I believe in God and I want whoever reads this to believe too.
” Then I heard a voice from heaven say, “Write this: Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on.” “Yes,” says the Spirit, “they will rest from their labor, for their deeds will follow them.”
Forever my sweet sweet Poppaw. I will forever love you.